Video Game Characters Ready For Movember

November is right around the corner and what is on everyone’s mind? Gaming? Yeah, of course – but besides that? If you shouted “Movember!” you hit the nail on the head. This is the time of year that every other guy in your office is growing a mouth brow to raise awareness for Prostate cancer. To show our support and give all of our mustachioed gamers some encouragement for the month of Movember Krispy and I brainstormed some of our favorite lip rugs – without further ado, in no particular order, is the Almost Perfect Gamer mustache gallery:

MARIO & LUIGI

“It’s a-me, Mario!”

Mario and Luigi

Nintendo is on everyone’s mind with the unveiling of Switch, so it would be a travesty to start this list without mentioning the world’s most famous plumbers. How do we know Mario and his brother are men and not boys? Because they have man-staches, that’s how. These two have been showing off their caterpillars since 1983 and proving that it’s cool to be a plumber… or is it the rescuing princesses? Well, whatever it is that attracts us to Mario Mario and Luigi Mario, we love them and their ‘staches. They’re here to stay! Their facial hair is so impressive that in the Superstar Saga you can even level it up – the bigger the ‘stache, the luckier Mario is!

DR. LIGHT
“Humans and robots together in harmony and equality. That was my ultimate wish.”
mustache-drlight

Playing Mega Man was a staple of our childhood, which got us excited for the release of Might No. 9. Dr. Thomas Light is best known for creating Mega Man and various other robots for the betterment of mankind. Alas, no one remembers him for the minor achievement of, oh, winning the Nobel Peace Prize for physics… His impressive facial hair certainly earns him a place with the best of the best, though to fully immerse himself in the Movember cause we’d like to see him shave the beard and leave the ‘stache. Maybe with some mutton chops?

DR. WILY
“After him! He’s my nemesis! Our rivalry [over facial hair (obviously)] is what gives me motivation in life!”
DrWily

I can’t, with a clear conscience, add Dr. Light to the list without adding his arch-nemesis, Dr. Albert W. Wily! Wily and Light were colleagues during their university years, working together to advance robotics technology, but time and again that jerk, Dr. Light, wounded our poor antagonist’s pride. Tired of constantly being one-up’d by Light, Wily moved away and started work on creating an army of his own robots, hell bent on taking over the world. There’s nothing ambiguous about his image… his whole being shouts “I’m an evil scientist and I’m here to destroy you.” A large part of this is due to his epic mustache. Who would take him seriously with a smooth baby face? Nobody, that’s who.

DR. ROBOTNIK

“Mustache moron? I’m the world’s grea-… AHEM… Take him out… quickly.”

robotnik

Let’s continue on this streak of Doctors, but jump systems for a moment with Dr. Ivo “Eggman” Robotnik. One of our first consoles growing up was the Genesis and so we spent many hours playing Sonic the Hedgehog. Eggman is Sonic’s rival and another robotics savant, choosing to channel the power of his mustache for evil, instead of good. He kidnaps small forest animals and traps them in machines. Does that make him a cybernetics genius? Or do his robots just run off the little guys living inside? Is his work the predecessor of the Pokéball? One thing is for certain, he is primed and ready for Movember.

DR. ANDONUTS
“Young lad, I’m reminded of my son’s friend when I look at you. I’m not sure if we’ll ever meet again, but I’ll always be rooting for you folks.”
drAndonuts

Back on the SNES yet again with a character that hits close to my heart, we have Dr. Andonuts. An eccentric inventor from the Earthbound / Mother series, he is the father of Jeff, one of the four main characters. While being one of the good guys, he gives himself up as a bit of a dead beat dad, placing his work ahead of his son (far, far ahead), revealing that he hadn’t seen his son in ten years – instead letting him live at a boarding school for boys. When it comes to facial hair, Dr. Andonuts has a generous, bushy mustache that is bound to garner attention, which can then be directed towards prostate cancer awareness.

VICTOR “SULLY” SULLIVAN

“Here’s the thing, kid. We don’t get to choose how we start in this life. Real ‘greatness’ is what you do with the hand you’re dealt.”

 uncharted-sully

It’s difficult to not be sucked into Uncharted. The top notch stories, the lure of trying your hand at treasure hunting without all that pesky danger, the endearing cast of characters, one of the best of which is Victor Sullivan. Sully is the treasure hunting mentor of Nathan Drake in the Uncharted series. A silver-tongued adventurer who is, perhaps, best known for his charm, his cigars, and yes, his mustache. Could you imagine Victor as a young sailor, hair cropped, and clean shaven? No, neither can we. This is a Tom Selleck-esque mustache that exudes confidence and it would be a travesty to shave something this beautiful after Movember.

HAGGAR
“It’s my job to keep Metro City safe!”
haggar
Growing up I remember going out for pizza a couple times a month and begging my Mom for quarters to play the arcade games, one of which was Final Fight, and my favorite character was Haggar. Michael Duncan Haggar, a retired professional wrestler turned city Mayor, is one of three playable characters in the arcade game and probably the most memorable. Why? Could it be his politic decisions that involved turning vigilante and cracking heads? His super-human upper body physique (though he didn’t give as much attention to leg day…)? Or is it his mustache that shouts “I’m done with you fouling up my city, here comes the flying elbow!” No doubt to me it’s that ‘stache.
So that completes our list! Did we miss one? Comment below to let us know your favorite.
Bigfoot
Bigfoot has been playing video games for as long as he can remember, he was weaned straight from the bottle on to a Commodore 64 and hasn't looked back since. He enjoys sampling beer and hanging out with his family. A couple of his all-time favorite games are Earthbound (SNES) and Fallout 2 (PC).

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.